Why does he do things like this, and what's the best way to get him to stop?

[lamamialma]

Last night, my friends and I were on the way home from hanging out. My guy friend, whom I kind of like, was driving, my sister was in the front passenger seat, and my other guy friend and I were in the back. Partway home, the guy I was in the back with leaned over and put his head on my lap. He then started running his fingertips over my legs, mostly on the tops of my thighs, but also my inner thighs, knees, and calves occasionally. He didn't go any higher than mid-thigh, but it still kind of creeped me out. However, I also felt like there was no good way to ask him to stop. He asked me if it was bothering me, but for some reason I said no. It also creeped me out that he stopped doing it when my sister turned around to see why he'd gone quiet, then started again when she looked away. I'm 17 and he's 21, and he is a nice guy who seems to care about me, so I don't think he has any more-than-platonic feelings toward me, but he's done things like this before too, and I don't understand why. Is what he did a normal thing that opposite-sex friends do to each other? If not, then in case he does it again, how should I ask him to stop?

[Rachie932]

if i were you i would find it creepy. He obviously is flirting with you and hes alot older than you and idk if u have known the guy for a while but if not then i would just tell him you feel uncomfortable when he does that and to please stop. If he respects you he will.

[HollyB715]

He's testing you to see how far you'll go, and what he can get away with. And I'm sure the more you're around each other he'll keep pushing it. However when I was 21 I wanted nothing to do with a 17 year old, just mentally and maturity wise you're in two different worlds. Just avoid close physical contact with him, sitting near him, etc if it creeps you out. You mentioned you like the guy driving, so give this weirdo the boot!

[Adam750265]

Either he likes you, or he's a bit of a pervert.

Just tell him it's making you uncomfortable and ask him to stop if it's bothering you.

[jj784]

he's flirting and he wants to have sex. but if it doesnt bother you why stop have fun.. hope i helped.

[StevenD854]

If he's 21 why does he hangout with 17 year olds? He's molesting you! If he starts to try this again, scream and let everyone know he touching you! If he keeps getting away with it, he'll go farther and not stop!

[wallyboy]

that is not normal thing with friend to do.that it just gross for a 21 years old boy do that to a 17 years old.tell him it creep you out.and tell him you dont like it.you dont need friend like that.it against the law what he doing.just be careful.

[emily391]

Dude, unless he's gay you should tell him to knock it off. but you're right, you want to deal with it carefully so he doesn't get mad or offended but at the same time be firm enough that he gets the point. Do you have a boyfriend or someone you like? Maybe bring him along on some night to hang with everyone and make it apparent that you like this other guy in front of your creepy friend and maybe he'll get the point. don;t let it go for too long becuase, even if it's not ever spoken, he might one day assume that you are an item and then your friendship might get ruined. I know it's stupid but guys just think that way. good luck!

[AnnS454]

Friends do not do this to each other. He wants to get with you and he's building a foundation to get there by doing this leg rubbing thing. Beleive me, if you don't say something to him he will soon advance to an even more creepy thing as he feels he's luring you to him (remember you said it didn't bother you when he asked-you gave him a green light to keep going).

As far as what you would say to make him aware.....If he touches you leg say, "That feels nice, but don't get any ideas, cuz we're just friends"..so it in a nice, kind of joking-but-serious way. He should get the hint.

[Hannah969]

Well, does he have any diganose? I'm not being mean, but I was with my 10 year old neighbor and her cousin. And through the back I saw her cousin [who is like 25] scratching her back UNDER her shirt. I thought it was creepy and I was concearned for the little girl so I told him to knock it off. Later she thanked me. The best way to tell him to stop is be straight and get to the point. If you're insterested in making him stop immediently, tell him to knock it off. If want to go easy on him, just don't sit in the back with him and ask if your sister will trade spots with you.