What can I do about this? Please answer my question.?

[Taylor]

I am 14, and my sister is 16 my sister, got her lip peirced with out permission, curses, steals, lies, drinks, sneaks out to parties, never listens to my parents, has had sex with someone when she was drunk at a party, and hangs out with the wrong group. My parents keep punishing her and now they forbid her to hang out with that crowd anymore and my sister told me today she doesn't care what our parents say, she's still going to hang out with those bad people. I told her that she was never bad befor they came into the picture a few months ago and she said yes I was I just didn't get caught. I'm almost sure that she wasn't bad before them and she just told me that. What can I do? We have a terrible realtionship, she didn't tell me any of the bad things she does, i found out my own.

[Matthew277]

There's nothing you can do to stop it. If she wants to do it, she will, regardless of what you or your parents say.

What you can do is tell her how you feel, and that you are scared that she's going to get hurt. Tell her that you love her and that you'd be crushed if anything bad ever happens. Let her know that you know that you can't stop her or control her, but when she's ready, you'll be there for her.

[MisterTerrific508]

She's going to be the skank sister, and you are going to be the good kid.

It happens in many families.

Don't copy her, whatever you do!

[DouglasD876]

Oh Taylor, I am so sorry that your sister is making so many bad choices right now. It must be horrible to have to stand by and watch her take this path for herself, when all common sense says that it's wrong, and her life could be so much better if she would just follow her parents wishes.

Unfortunately there isn't very much you can do about this except to make sure that you don't one day decide that it would be OK for you to follow in your sister's footsteps.

Your parents are the ones who ultimately have the responsibility to set your sister straight, if she won't do it on her own. That means that the only one who you are responsible for is YOU.
Your mom and dad are doing the best they can to bring your sis under control, but unfortunately your sis has made it clear that they aren't doing enough. I could have much to say about what I think it would take to get your sister back on the right track.
But I am more concerned about helping YOU cope with a crappy situation that YOU had nothing to do with causing in the first place.

It doesn't surprise me that you have a terrible relationship with your sister. But since she is the oldest one, and she is the one making all of the bad choices for herself, I feel I can safely say that she is the one most responsible for that situation.

I think what is going on with your sis is wrong, and unfair to you. She probably thinks that the only one she is hurting is herself, and she thinks that since she can take it, she gives herself permission to behave the way she does. I wish that all it would take would be a simple message from you stating how much it hurts you to see her self-destructing, but I am afraid that she isn't in a frame of mind where she would be able to properly appreciate such a message.

I also know that you want to put the blame on this bad crowd that she has taken up with, but I believe that your sister is still the one who makes these bad choices for herself. No one is twisting her arm to force her to take up such risky behaviour, it's her choice to do it.

So what can you do?
You're a good girl, and I think that deep down your sister is too.
The difference between the two of you (besides your age) is that she has made some really lousy choices regarding her behaviour. These choices put her in extreme danger, and she is at risk for disease, pregnancy, arrest, and probably failure in school.
What you can do for your family, is choose a better path for yourself.
Don't take risks, and if you aren't sure about what the right thing to do is, then go to your mom and dad for advice. Once you have their advice, even if it's not what you want to hear, follow it anyway.
Look after yourself, and do your best to ready yourself for a secure, and happy future.

It may seem selfish but trust me, your parents will be sooooo gratefull for your contribution to THEIR happiness. Sometimes it may seem like parents get some kind of joy out of saying NO to their kids.
But that couldn't be further from the truth.
All your mom and dad want for you and your sister is for the two of you to be happy, and above all SAFE.
Right now your sister is taking risks that she may never live long enough to appreciate how bad they are.
The sad thing is that it is very unfair to you, since your sister through her bad behaviour is grabbing ALL of your parents attention right now.
When you deserve so much more, your older sister is stealing YOUR SHARE of your parents attention.
Trust that they love and appreciate you, even though it may sometimes appear like they have forgotten you while they are scurrying around trying to rescue your older sibbling from herself.

To get you through these bad times, I want to urge you to speak up for yourself when you feel like you have been lost in your sisters wake.

Keep coming back for more support here, and also reach out to kids help lines, alateen, and other support groups. You deserve to be uplifted and supported, so don't be afraid to demand it when you find yourself being left out.

I hope your sister smartens up before she finds out it's too late.
As for you, just stay the smart kid you already are. OK?