Should i marry her although i don't love her?

by **Jerry** on Wed Oct 21, 2009 7:36 pm

I'm 17 and i am engaged however i don't really wanna marry her i feel like i have to. You so my girlfriend is the mother of my 4 weeks old son Joesph. We had sex the night we met at a party which resulted in our son. I cheated on my EX girlfriend Brooke who was in jail at the time for drug possession. I broke up with her although i still love her because her drug problems and because she hates my son she called him "bastard child". I started dating her to see if we had any chemistry but we don't she seems too preoccupied with our relationship then being a mother to our son. She reminded me of i didn't want Joesph to be my son before he was born i was hoping someone else was the father. And of how i missed his birth because i refused to be there. Should i marry her although i don't love her i don't want to not see my son which she threatened to have happen if i didn't propose and we get married?

by **andanotherone394** on Wed Oct 21, 2009 7:45 pm

NNooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

Oh my god... this is a Jerry Springer show waiting to happen...

Are you for real? If all this is true, you should have a daytime soap opera associated with your life...

Ummm... You don't get married to ANYONE unless you plan to follow through with the VOWS you commit to! If you marry her, you'll violate a lot of biblical laws... but that's on you, my friend! At 17, you shouldn't be having sex, getting married, being with anyone associated with drugs, OR asking strangers for advice. Where are your parents??????????????

Don't get married unless you love her...

by **waterlily722** on Wed Oct 21, 2009 7:47 pm

If you're in the US and you're the biological father of the child, you have rights to see the child whether you are married to her or not.

And I'm sorry to agree with her, but yes, your son is a bastard according to the definition of the word (see link below).

That being said, you are going to be bound to the mother of your child for life whether you marry her or not. Your son should be the biggest priority here...not the relationship or you or the mother.

You can both learn to be great parents without being married. All you're going to do in a marriage is take a bad situation and make it worse by involving legalities. Don't do that to your child.

Express to the mother that you want to be in the child's life - and you have legal rights to do so as the father (whether you're married or not) - but you do not want to marry her. You also should not continue the sham of a relationship you have going if you don't love her or really want to be with her.

Don't let her blackmail you into marriage. My question is, where are the adults in this situation? Do you not have parents or guidance counselors you can talk to? You need to have some kind of adult influence here.

by **Ella016** on Wed Oct 21, 2009 7:47 pm

um are you stupid?
noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

Just because you have a child is no reason for marriage!

and bty, condems are avalible at your school, for free. :]

by **fiercebandkidsftw277** on Wed Oct 21, 2009 7:48 pm

She can't keep you from seeing your son. Go to court. If you don't love her, don't marry her.

by **Stelle** on Wed Oct 21, 2009 7:48 pm

No. Take her to court about your son

by **Katie040711** on Wed Oct 21, 2009 7:48 pm

Nooooo. Think about what is in the best interest of your son. He needs to grow up in a happy family. The best thing for him would be to have two happy families, after you both marry someone you love and are excited to spend your entire life with. Don't get married if you have any inclination at all that it won't work out for life. Divorce is so hard on everyone involved. Even when it is the best option, it is still a very difficult process emotionally. Good luck, and congratulations on your baby. Now go be a good father to him!

by **Jenay** on Wed Oct 21, 2009 7:52 pm

I would definitely not advise you to marry her if there is not any love there. That would not be a good move for your son. As his father, she can not legally keep you from seeing him. If you do not want to be with her and decide to leave, you can do the right thing and put yourself on child support. She will be required by the courts to provide you with visition since your are paying to support him. But definitely DO NOT MARRY HER IF YOU DO NOT LOVE HER. I would also recommend prayer....it can help any situation! Also, just be the best father that you can be for your son. He will need it because it sounds like he has a crazy mom! Good luck!

by **Spindrift040** on Wed Oct 21, 2009 7:58 pm

No do NOT marry her it would be a disaster for all concerned. And you also need to make sure your son is not being abused by that horrible woman.

by **Libby171** on Wed Oct 21, 2009 9:19 pm

She can't legally deny you the right to see your son, regardless of what she claims. You COULD also consider filing for full-time custody of Joseph, you know. There's no reason a child has to be raised by his mother, especially if the father would be the better parent.

Don't marry her if you don't love her. However, you're stuck with this woman until your son reaches adulthood. You should at least try to get along with her.

Next time, wear a condom!

Should i marry her although i don't love her?