Should I choose identical bridesmaids dresses?

by **DonnaC** on Wed Oct 21, 2009 4:09 pm

I prefer that all of the bridesmaids look the same, but I don't want to be inconsiderate and make someone wear something they might not like.

If I were a bridesmaid, I think I would just wear whatever the bride wanted me to and not really care, but I know that not everyone feels that way - so, should I give them options? What is the best way of going about choosing the dress style in your opinion?

Thank you!

by **Steph032** on Wed Oct 21, 2009 4:13 pm

You should choose whatever you want. Sure, you can ask for their(your bridesmaids) opionions, but why would it matter? It is YOUR wedding, not theirs. Choose whatever color that goes with your wedding scene, and if there is more than one other color, you can take a vote if you would like. But really, it's your day, and EVERYTHING is up to you.

by **nova_queen_28043** on Wed Oct 21, 2009 4:16 pm

If you want your bridesmaids to match -- that is what you want for your wedding and you are entitled to that.

I'm a pretty laid back bride but I also want some symmetry to the look of my bridesmaids at the same time I also wanted them comfortable. So I told them what color, fabric & length dress to choose and asked them to run their selection past me so I could give it a final OK (I just didn't want them choosing anything too revealing). It was somewhat the best of both worlds. They won't look completely mis-matched in different length dresses but they aren't in an unflattering style for themselves.

by **Tabby666** on Wed Oct 21, 2009 4:20 pm

i want my bridesmaids to all be different.
but for my dads we were all the same. i think its just personal preference. and your right, even if they dont like it they should wear it anyways. unless their larger then they might feel bad about themselves.

by **Emoja000** on Wed Oct 21, 2009 4:24 pm

If you choose your bridesmaids carefully, the women will be more than happy to wear whatever you want them to wear. It's your wedding, you get to choose!

My three bridesmaids all had drastically different body shapes. So I had them all wear the same exact color, but chose different styles of dresses that complimented their shape. I wanted them to look and feel great for themselves *and* for me!

I would suggest going shopping with them for their dresses. Have them all try on different styles and choose which ones you think are best. You might surprise yourself. I actually discovered that I wanted my maids to all wear a slightly different shade of green, but we couldn't swing it because certain styles didn't come in those certain colors. So be open to changing your mind once you start dress shopping. Good luck and congrats on the wedding!

by **Justtryintohelp447** on Wed Oct 21, 2009 4:29 pm

It's personal preference. It's your wedding, so you have the ultimate decision. It would be generous and good of you to ask their opinions. You may want to consider each of their body types, too. A dress that looks fabulous on one may not look great on the next...

For my wedding it was all about them being comfortable. I narrowed the color choices down, we voted. I told them I wanted them all to be in floor-length dresses. They decided that all the dress should be ordered together to assure they were the same dye lot (the color sometimes won't be the same from one lot to the next). When they went shopping, they decided to do 'separates' and get the same bottom with all different tops.

by **Pamela473** on Wed Oct 21, 2009 4:31 pm

you could find a style you like and have everyone in a different color or choose a color and let everyone pick their own style
I assigned a specific color to each of my bridesmaids and let them choose their own dress
I think the most important thing to remember is that everyone have a good time and feel good.
Your wedding is not only about what it looks like

by **Kalamity_K279** on Wed Oct 21, 2009 4:36 pm

I think you should consider their body types, but definately do the same style. When you mix up styles and colors, people start focusing on all the pretty dresses and their eyes don't stay on the bride. It makes the wedding look 'busy'.

by **TriciaR703** on Wed Oct 21, 2009 4:36 pm

We went to a wedding where all of the bridesmaids wore the same color - eggplant, and they could choose between three different styles. One of the bridesmaids was thirteen years old, very slim and not very tall. She had a darling sort of sundress style. One was seven months pregnant. She had a halter dress that really flattered her. Then there was one more style. All the bridesmaids looked stunning.

by **Ilovemylove367** on Wed Oct 21, 2009 4:45 pm

you as the bride should be the person picking the dress for the bridesmaids. but pick a dress they could possibly wear again. I've been a bridesmaid 3x and now I have 3 useless dresses hanging in my closet that I'll never wear (they won't work if altered) and can't sell (tried ebay). pick a good dark solid color, dark colors are more flattering for different body types (navy, black, eggplant etc). also choose a shorter dress instead of floor length. there are more occasions down the road where your girls will be able to wear a cocktail dress rather than a long gown. keep in mind they're paying for the dresses so if they can get more than 1 use out of it, the dress has paid for itself. if you give them options, you'll never get them all to agree on 1 dress, so you'll have 2 wanting one dress and the third girl wants something different. it's only 1 day of their lives so if they put up too much of a fuss, cut them from the wedding party. I was lucky in those 3 weddings and the dresses weren't totally awful, they're just not the kind of dress I could ever wear again.

Should I choose identical bridesmaids dresses?