Just married and upset. Am I over reacting?

by **hickerchic** on Fri Oct 23, 2009 5:28 am

My husband and I just got married 2 months ago.Threw-out our relationship he has always talked bad about married men at the office who hang out with female coworkers after work. He has always said that if he were to do that he would bring me out of respect. The last few weeks he has been very emotionally distant, then tonight after being several hours late from work I called to see if everything was all right. He said he had decided to go out with some friends .After asking him several times "what friends"he finally admitted he was out with two Lady's from work. At home I tryed to talk with him and he got very upset and told me that I was jealous and insecure.He then packed a bag and left. Though I don't think he has been physically unfaithful. I am really hurt that I couldn't believe what he had been saying all along.I am feeling like he violated my trust and that he emotional unfaithful. Am I over reacting?

by **just_me593** on Fri Oct 23, 2009 5:33 am

No sweety, he's the one overreacting. He's guilty about something, and you need to find out what it is. Don't just assume he hasn't cheated.

by **JoethePlumber621** on Fri Oct 23, 2009 5:34 am

He packed a bag and left??? you have every right to be upset.

by **Ben312675** on Fri Oct 23, 2009 5:34 am

forget about him. divorce his butt and move on with your life.

by **Chevynut2002** on Fri Oct 23, 2009 5:36 am

your not over reacting...in fact where he wasn't wanting to talk to you about it and he got mad and packed up and left, that would really make me wonder what is going on and what did happen, you aren't being jealous or insecure, you are just wondering what did happen.

by **Lova** on Fri Oct 23, 2009 5:37 am

no you are not overreacting. are the coworkers he went out with a threat? ask him why he changed his opinion so much. it is weird. maybe he is feeling a little trapped and wanted to test the water? you need to have a talk with him. and when he left after the fight, where did he go??? back to hang out the with coworkers?

by **BillC966** on Fri Oct 23, 2009 5:38 am

There is a difference between personal insecurity and relationship insecurity. You might have 'some' relationship insecurity but that is due to his behaviour. You also sound concerned about your relationship and his distance. I have the impression that he has made himself upset (angry?) and let the argument take this path in order for him to justify leaving. I don't believe you are over reacting at all. You have reasons to feel the way you do and given his contradictions your concerns are justified.

I hope you two are able to work something out. He might need some time before he is ready to talk it over.

by **cyrox** on Fri Oct 23, 2009 5:41 am

You are NOT overreacting. do some "hanging out" of your own then take your things and leave, see how he likes it? well if he didnt have anything to hide he wouldnt have acted so defensive.

If hes acting like this within 2 months of the marriage imagine 2 yrs.

Somethings not ok with this type of reaction to a perfectly normal question about where and who he was with.

by **013732** on Fri Oct 23, 2009 5:41 am

wow that hurts me just reading it! im very sorry. If my boyfriend ever did that I would be so upset I really hope I never have to go thru this. you have every right to be upset I HATE how men put this idea in women;s heads that WE are the ones overreacting and being "insecure" stuff it! i can not believe people that just up and leave!! me and my boyfriend never do that and never have he seems to be guilty about something. and this is giong to be a life long deal of agony if you dont figure out what you want to do. if you divorce DO NOT BLAME YOURSELF. it was just not ment to be and u WILL find someone who will love you without doing those things!! i know your probably thinking its only bee2 months i need to stick it out more. no, no you do not. that is SO unacceptable. we do not even talk to the opposite sex without the other one knowing about it but we are very very close. you need to confront him and try to get out of him what happened but like he will ever tell the truth. ugh i cant believe some men!! it makes me very sad. hope i helped stay strong and do whats right for YOU

by **huckleberry239** on Fri Oct 23, 2009 5:43 am

You are not over reacting. He is giving you mixed signals and often there are reasons why men do this. Usually it is because they are the worst offenders - in other words, they are quite happy to have office affairs.

That being said, I don't know you or your husband. However, I know relationships and I know men. He spent a bunch of time setting you up and now he is doing what he wants. And that is hanging out with someone at the office.

You are newly weds. This is not a great start to your marriage. I think you need to decide what you want from a relationship and decide whether or not this is the right one for you.

Just married and upset. Am I over reacting?