I think I am heading down the wrong path health wise?

[icycrissy27blue]

Here it goes:I am seeing a counselor for the past year and a half and I am still not happy with how I look.I am 5' 5" and have not weighed more than 120 lbs. in the past 5-6 years until this year when I gained 4 lbs. over the summer to make it 120.6 lbs.In HS I was not fat but not skinny either,I had band and especially marching band for 4 years which kept me well in shape so I could eat whatever I wanted to since I worked my butt off at practice.After I finished HS I enrolled in a community college to take a couple of classes but decided to get my Associate Degree and while there I took this required class,a Kinesiology class which basically changed how I now see life.My transition between HS and college was a drop of almost 10 lbs. total in my weight to 115 lbs. which I maintained for a LONG time.I worked out then and I work out now,I met during 2005 my now ex at the community college and then after receiving our Associate Degree we both transferred to the same university in 2006.As time progressed I became more and more idk obsessed with my body,self concious,reading labels like crazy,cheking out the sites of restaurants before heading out,talking about calories,fats,saturated fats,carbs,etc. up to the point where not so long ago it annoyed my dad and he was about to walk away from the table if I did not stop.I did not realize that all this me being a health freak took over me but my sister and brother kept on telling me how I look like I not good in a non-healthy way but it did not sink in what they were saying so I just brushed it off.I finally realized that I have a problem and I do not know what to do because I am heading down the wrong path:no I am not anorexic or bulemic but when I look in the mirror all I see is this 125-130 lbs. person that I was in HS not the person that I am today.I eat smaller portions than 2 years ago,I am worrying my friends since now when I look at food I see "fat,carbs,etc" and I need to eat healthy.A couple of days ago while having dinner with my ex he was asking me concerned if I was becoming anorexic and I thought he was kidding since he looked at me and how much I ate or how my appetite has decreased lately.He also noticed how my immune system is weak,how I suffer from fatigue,almost passing out even though I eat,low blood sugar levels and at times he has to sit down with me to make sure that I eat.I need help big times!I looked thru these pics of me after I was out of HS and how happy I was with myself and my body,how I was glowing and how it showed on my face vs. now...Any advice would help...

Okay people:It is how I am dis-satisfied with the way I look,how friends are worried that I might be heading down a spiral towards anorexia and where for once I hate my body.All I see is nothing good about it except every imperfection not something that says "Hey I am happy with the way I am and happy with me.."even though I am happy with my life..

[LieutenantP]

I'm double your weight; you're tiny. Start smoking and you'll lose weight if that's what you want; if not just keep Milky Way bars in your purse. Anyways, wanna hook up?

[XtremePoetess148]

i used to not be able to gain weight. i got hospitalized from that and other things. you have to make yourself eat more. that's all you can do. your stomach shrunk and the only way to make things better is eat more if you think you're anorexic or underweight.

as for the jerk who asked you to hook up and to smoke..ignore him.

[Michelle472]

maybe you should volunteer at a children's hospital. Seeing kids been eaten alive by cancer might make you appriecate your health and not dwell on such petty things like a couple of pounds. you need a reality check so get your head out of Vogue magazine and into the real world. Sorry to be so blatant but if a few extra pounds is all you have to worry about - THEN YOUR A VERY LUCKY PERSON.

[Hannah761]

I'll hook up with you, Leitenant P.