I cant figure him out, he is hurting me so much?

[Krissy]

Thanks for taking the time to read, please only answer if you have something constructive to say instead of the easy " dump him" or "you must like it"

I have been with my partner for almost 8 years, we have had our ups and downs broken up once but i have never found him to be this cold and heartless.



Just over the last couple of months,Late Jul/Aug, actually since hes been hanging out with a 22 yr old friend (male) hes gotten really strange and i mean like a reversal of maturity (hes 28)



He works 10 hour shifts on a 4 day rotating roster so i know what days he has off, i know how many days he works from his payslips and his wage that gets deposited, he doesnt go anywhere or do anything, I take him to work and his friend brings him home at the same time every night so unless he is cheating at work theres no chance he is doing it outside of work.



I cant work him out, I actually got so mad at 4:30am this morning we got into an arguement and i hit him and told him he was a cold heartless b@stard who deserved no one and nothing and he would never find another woman as patient as me who would put up with his $hit, i was crying and he let me walk out and didnt even come and talk to me after i told him i was going to start looking for a place of my own.



Im lost he has never said he doesnt love me,he does say he loves me, i find it highly unlikely hes cheating and if he is she isnt high grade meat given where he works and well that leaves hes secretly gay or a chronic masturbator or i dont know what else it could be.



We argued because i wanted sex and hes been avoiding it for the last couple of months now at all costs,in August we were going to town and now the trail has gone cold, its been 3 weeks since last time and i had to demand it then, this morning he said if i wanted it i had to get on and do my business ....yeah theres some romance for you. He doesnt kiss me with any passion anymore, if were out i have to grab his hand and hold on tight or he will pull away, i get no hugs, though the last week hes been cuddling me when we have been sleeping he has not done that for a long long time and hes gone from wanting sex every day or groping me everyday to little or no sexual contact at all.



Is it me? did i do something, so now im thinking im fat and im ugly and i turn him off and yet when we have had sex its stayed hard and hasnt taken long to climax on his part, so i must do something for him.



Has anyone experienced this before or knows of a similar situation because im a wreck i have been going on 4 hours to no sleep a night having panic attacks and worrying. Ive tried talking to him and he ignores me, just switches off and wont answer me even when i say to him that no matter what he says i will try and understand. Ive asked him if he was gay and he still never answered, hes such a homophobe im now wondering if its all just been a disguise,is he depressed? I think hes got mild schizophenia, but ive always said that, oh i dont know i cant think straight, maybe its nothing maybe its something men go through, all I know is that i am lost and my heart is broken and i dont know what to do or possibly what could be wrong.



Any help or any advice would be so much appreciated. Thanks

He gives me his payslips when he gets home and we both share the same bank account where my wages go into too! Its his choice not to go anywhere and he doesnt have a licence to drive and he wont drive because he got caught and they impounded my car, and if he gets caught again its 3 strikes and he is out. He knows what hours i work, how much money I get where I go what i do and I dont have a social life either because im at home taking care of 2 disabled kids when im not working

I have never even so much as called him a nasty name before today yes i slapped him and he deserved it, and it was about time i told him that he was being heartless, i never stick up for myself but i did today

I can keep trying to show him how much i appreciate even the smallest of things, I guess he may not see it, hopefully he will one day