How am i going to get to where i want to be in todays society?

[theghostoftheseagaeo]

when i don't like a lot of it ?



im 31 now and unfortunatley faced quite a bit of adversity , misfortune and unhappiness in life.

my childhood was happy , but my late, mid - teens not.



as a result i missed out on all the normal things in life - building relationships , being employed , education, qualifications , many other things etc.

i have come a long way through inner strength , i have lived in a 1 bedroom, apartment on disability benifits for 6 years now , i own few material possessions - mainly my computer.



i was diagnosed with various personality disorders , but are chasing an independent assesment because i feel i have co existing anxiety disorders.

the help and resources have not always been available , it was a struggle , they said they will get me psychotherapy , which is what i want, but first to try exposure therapy - getting out into society with a support worker , because i have bad anxiety and agoraphobia , and have lived as a recluse for years.



my ankle is hopefully healing after it was operated on months ago because of torn tendons , i have to do exercises for it now.



ive aged premature i feel because of life stress.



i have 2 missing teeth , front bottom row , because of an accident years ago , i want to save for inplants.



all together i still have ambitions and dreams, to get a decent paid IT job - move to a quiet coastal village , get my own house , develop relationships.





but i know it will be hard because i am introverted , aloof, reserved , private , fussy about relationships , slightly misanthropic , and i don't like a lot of whats out there in todays world - the music, tv , people , the media - sensation , drama - im not interested in any of it.





i feel branded and alienated, disadvantaged by my background , mental health problems, stigmatised some of society has behaved standoffish towards me for more years than i can count.











i do still expect and want to develop a few relationships and achieve my goals - so what will i do ?

[elocin]

It is difficult being in this world today, but think of how it was many years ago when law were different and people. We have to make our own happiness and peace and that comes through prayer and trusting that there is a reason for so many things. You did not mention you had a job, but if you do, yes, save for the implants, that will help lift your spirits. Focus on positive things, not negative. Perhaps join a church group of some kind. Bottom line, don't let this life or the life you had as a teenager keep you from maturing and moving forward. This is easier said then done based on your background but it is possible. I wish you well.

[John953]

Wow! i have not been been through as much as you have been through, but I understand. Im 21 and see things the way you see them. From ages 10 to the present i believed that those who work hard and stand firm on there beliefs will one day reep the rewards. Getting out into the world as i am now, I see that a person really does not have much of a choice. Not many really get to chose there carrers and sadly never get the wife and the family that they felt promised as a kid. The knew the world was a messed up place buts it seems even worce now. It Seem like YOU HAVE TO PLAY THE GAME, in order to get anywhere, but I hate the fakeness of the game and I only know how to be genuine. If I was you I would slowdown a little bit. By slowing down I meen slowing down the thoughts in your head, and maybe right a few goals down. Sort of a list of big and little things you want to accomplish and really design your lifestyle to meet them. That is really the only way I know but hang in there.

[hindisikhnewaalaa745]

Claro que you *must* see it through with those fancy Italian recycled tiles with the sea-green motifs (remember to take the sand-stone coloured grouting), they're so much better for the morale when you're in the bath with the lights on and you have to really accept yourself, and land's sake's, at my age I sure do know all about how difficult THAT can be. Besides, those so-called off-cream clearance-house numbers don't bring out the white in the same way at ALL. Just my two-cents' worth.