Do you feel bad when you make your kids cry?

[typicallyme3]

my parents do the same to me

[insaneone077]

I had feelings for my kids but I didn't use their crying as an excuse not to finish what needed to be said. They always tried crying to get me to feel sorry for them and then let them get away with whatever they were doing wrong. It just didn't work with me.

[favoritefood]

Just suck it up and stop acting like a 5 year old

[Lizzydelightfullymad824]

It does. Right now my 13y/o son will cry at just about anything, hormones are doing a number on him, but even if I had no part in causing him to cry or if it was something I did that was as simple as hurrying him out the door in the morning, I feel bad if he cries. Even though I know he's not really upset and it's just a stage he's going through.

Sometimes it's unavoidable and I just have to let my kids cry, but I don't want to purposefully antagonize them until or past the point of crying. I know if they're upset at me to the point of crying, I'm not getting my message through anyway, so for both our sakes, it's better to come back later when we're both calmer and address the issue when we're both more reasonable. Yelling and trying to put someone down or make them feel bad never got through to anyone. All it is, is a power-play of a person with no control. It makes a kid feel like crap, but it doesn't get a point across like discussion and hearing each side of an issue out does.

(I wish politicians would learn that too, along with other parents.)

[Strawberry124066]

Parents feel horrible, but does that mean they should back down and apologize? When you get in trouble, for something you truly did wrong, your tears are only because you realized what you did was wrong. It's called guilt.

If parents ran to their child's side and said, "OMG, honey! I'm so sorry for yelling at you. Don't cry! Just forget about what you did! I'm so sorry!"

What lesson would they learn? They'd learn that tears get you sympathy and out of trouble, even if you deserve to get punished or reprimanded. That's not a good lesson.

Now, if a parent was having a bad day and yelled out of their own frustration (ex-bad day at work, fight with spouse), rather than because a child truly did something wrong, then they should apologize.

[TammyD858]

I love my children very very much. And yes I feel bad when they are upset nothing is worse than knowing that you are the one that made them cry.
First off I want to say that I don't yell at my kids. I talk to them in a normal tone or maybe a slight raised voice but I don't yell. The one time that I yelled at my son I was very upset. I knew that I had scared him and I felt terrible. That was over a year ago and I still feel bad for yelling at him. There is never an excuse for yelling at a child (no matter how old the child is).
But I do discipline and punish my children when needed. And many times that makes them cry. I do feel bad that they are crying but that doesn't mean that I am sorry for what I had to say or do. I never apologize to my children for making them cry. I do tell them that I love them and that I didn't want to make them cry but that sometimes mommies have to do things they don't want to do.

[MKell187]

I have cried more than once for making my kids cry. But they are all still young. I'm sure your moms not as heart less as she seems to be very stressed. How about talkin to her about how it hurts you when she is calm and when you haven't been 'bad'.

[aching_for_perfection853]

yes i feel bad. but i don't show them that, at least not while i'm doing the disciplining.