Difficult question to ask her?

[Oliversmummy-]

Im being bridesmaid for a life long friend next month and when i got my bridesmaid dress it was way too big. We live in different states so i had to take the dress myself and get it altered and pay for it. My friend from the very start said get the dress fixed tell me how much and i will give you the money back straight away because she didnt find it fair i pay.



I got the dress fixed i told her how much and now she wont pay me. I honestly dont want to make a big deal about it but its like she has just forgotten what she said. How can i kindly remind her? If there is no way to "kindly" remind her i wont remind her and just forget about it but is was expensive all the work i needed done to it. I needed so much done because the dress she ordered was originally for her sister but her sister pulled out then she picked me.



Also do you know if i keep the dress after the wedding or do i hand it back for her to do whatever she wishes with?



Thanks!

Her sister pulled out because she fell pregnant and didnt think she would feel comfortable in a slimming dress in front of everyone.

[Kristina514]

"i'm not sure if you remember the conversation that we previously had, or if the offer is still on the table. i understand you have a lot of expenses with your wedding, and i'd like everything to be as perfect as possible and help as much as i can, but it was a bit rough paying for the alterations on my bridesmaid dress." start there and see how it goes.

[Todd509]

Tell her you don't mind splitting the cost of alterations, and ask her how much she feels comfortable contributing. Then ask her if she wants to send the money or give it to you when you come to town.

You would not usually give back a dress that was altered for your figure. Don't offer it back unless you need to free up space in your luggage for the trip home. She will ask for it back herself if she wants it. In that case, give it back. You won't ever wear it again anyway.

[Wifeforlife411]

Consider yourself lucky. Unfortunately most brides nowadays make their attendants pay for the dresses plus the alterations so you saved the big ticket item. Her wedding costs have no doubt become far greater than she ever budgeted for and she is probably too embarrassed to tell you that she's feeling the pinch. Send her a nice letter, tell her the dress is all altered now and you are very pleased to be helping her out. Then add, "You said you would pay for the alterations so I've enclosed a copy of the bill. I know your expenses are probably going wild so don't panic about paying it all at once. If it makes your life easier by sending me part now and the rest next payday, I certainly understand. Thanks in advance." ...By the way, I am more concerned about the bride's bad relationships - her SISTER pulled out? Hmmmnn...that might make your chances a bit less for collecting the money. If she doesn't pay you, then 100% -yes - keep the dress. But if she pays you and is rude enough to ask for it back, then drop it off as soon as possible and write this off as a learning experience.

[nottotallycrazy]

I would inform her that you doing the alterations was your present to her for the wedding. If you couldn't afford them and did them anyways you are a great friend for being there for her. She will understand if you can't get her a present due to the added costs of her wedding.