can someone plz gimme some advise ... im desperate?

[laalaalaa]

hey,



im really needin some help, but im not sure what. i have borderline personality disorder and susspected aspergers (both from trained prof's). i really have trouble with relationships with people, which means my friends are very limited. actually, i have no one who i can actually call a friend.



one guy i was seeing for a while cheated on me, and i ended up at a police station with him - neither of us were in trouble, but its a long story ...



then i started seeing this other guy, and he only seems to want to see me 1 time a week. he makes plans with me and cancells them suddenly, and due to the bpd/as i dont handel that well. and guess what, he just has again. he told me he would come see me on thurs, then, fri, then yesterday now today. he text me askin if i could go pick him up cos he was meetin his friends in 2 hours. so i only get to see my b/f for 2 hours a week?



im feeling really bad right now, i have not cut myself for over 4 months and i just did ... :(



i do not see my psychologit for another 2 weeks cos i just seen her on friday. i dunno what to do. im also very stressed with exams that are coming up and im finding this really hard to cope with.



i seem to have nothing to even be here for ... i wish i could just end it - but im not plannin on it, i just need some help to get over this...

[aurora]

sounds awful but if he is not making you happy then leave him so you can then find someone who will really care about you

[O435]

Everyone breathing and living have something to live for...whether you feel or think so or not.

What I dislike about people who are always crying about life, being bored, and lonely is that the hurt that you cause those who love and care about you.

Further people don't like sad, negative, fussy, and crying people ALL of the time.

Many people are suffering because they want to put too much stress on others to love and care for them; but you have to learn to love and care for yourself, and then others will want to be around and with you.

...also go get mental health services, because it is a pain in the butt, but it does help...will teach you how to cope.

You could do it, if you only you sincerely cared enough to try!

Remember, in life you only get out what you put in...if you want a friend, then you must be the same type of friend that you want; and you won't be able to do that until you take great care of yourself.

[tinkerbell34821]

I am having the same problem with one of my friends. I asked her to tell me what her intentions were, and she just kept stringing me a long. I told her I did not like it and got disappointed when it happened, and asked her to keep me informed of her intentions. She did not change her ways and I wrote her an email ending it today. It really screwed my head up for several months. I am now depressed but hopefully I will get over it soon. I suggest you tell your friend how upset you get, and ask him to change. If he does not you have to protect your sanity.

[Tizzitrix]

No offence, but it sounds to me like your current boyfriend isn't the kind of guy you should really be with. Have you tried talking to him about how you feel and the fact that you rarely see him? If he doesn't start being more reliable, maybe you should find someone else who treats you better.

I definitely think you need to stop cutting yourself. It's not good for you. Have you tried getting yourself a punchbag? Or maybe there's something theraputic that you could try, like art? Or playing and instrument? I have a friend who when she gets angry, she takes it out on her drumkit.

What is it that makes it difficult for you to have friendships? Do you lack confidence? Maybe you should figure out the answer and a way to slove the problem and help yourself.

And finally, the person who can help you most is YOU. Be more confident and optimistic. Life is for living while you have it!!!

Best wishes, and I hope this helps.

[chrisbfied]

hi my names chris and i don't have any medical degrees or fiddle faddle
like that but i know when i feel down or anything i just slip on my "phones" and bob to some music.
what kind of music are you into? i could list some good bands




feel better, Chris

[LilmissDiva]

well you have to do what you feel is right and if a guy wants you only once a week my advice is dump him you want a guy who cares not a guy who is on and off he might be dating others so hun i would follow your instinct and arrange an earlier meeting with your psychologist if you feel that bad consult the closest person to you and not just us yahoo answerer's

[gelybean106]

Hiya hun,
Im sorry to hear you're feeling low. Im not going to babble on with technical jargon or search the web 4u as i dont think thats what you need!!
1st things first....DITCH the bloke! Its so typical of male behaviour these days and its difficult enough for some1 that doesnt have problems to deal with the 'game' they play.
*** Dont let someone be a priority in your life if you're still an option in theirs!***
I know thats easier said than done but this is a necessity to feeling better, you dont need people dragging you down.
I have had a really shitty few years and im so angry at myself for letting my life get so out of control! I was diagnosed with depression last yr but refused to take the anti depressants as i wanted to pull myself out of it. In that bad time i turned to drink and drugs and all i wanted to do was party...I have a 3year old ( after 7 yrs on n off me and her dad split), she is the most beautiful thing in the world and so precious to me, i jepordised everything worth anything in my life. I will never do that again.
All I think to myself everyday is YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE. U cant slow time down and you cant relive things. The only way to improve your life hun is to pull yourself through this, it will get better i promise. You dont need men to make u feel good. I know its nice having a bf but the one you've got can't even be described as that.
I think you need to focus on what makes YOU happy and make yourself better before thinkin about men.
Life is so precious and so short you don't want to waste it on people that dont matter or on feeling low.
Think about things you can do, like hobbies or exercising or anything that takes your mind off the negative things in your life.
Focus on your exams, you can only do your best.
As for friends, you need people you can trust, put faith in those around you right now and why not try and communicate with people online, its an easier form of communication.
If theres anything you need or anything you want to talk about I am more than happy to talk to you.
Chin up chick, you're worth more than this.
x

[YA120]

Call the samaritans hotline NOW. You can look it up on google. Also call your psychologist.

Your boyfriend sucks. You deserve better. But, to be blunt, if you want someone good you need to look good yourself. Otherwise, whatever relationship you have is probably too good to be true. By "look good" I don't mean just physical stuff. You have to demonstrate that you have qualities worthy of your esteem. Intelligence, style, pleasant demeanor, etc.

It's hard said than done -- I'll tell you from personal experience. But that is the only path you have. Unless of course, you want to settle for someone who just isn't all that great.

[Solomon319]

You tell us five problems:

1) Your old boyfriend is an azz
2) You have tests to take
3) You have bp disorder
4 You MAY have asberger's
5) Your new boyfriend MAY be an azz

1) You have already solved this problem.
2) This is probably your biggest priority. Focus on your tests and get into life. Doing well may give you a boost of confidence.
3)Some may say your personality has a "disorder" but its still the only one you have. If you're not setting things on fire or throwing excrement around, then you are still better off than may people. Someone in this world is bound to like you, perhaps you have not found him yet.
4) Be firm with your boyfriend, tell him that such and such a time is not good and HE will have to reschedule. If he sees that you show resistance in decisions, he may respect you more.
5) I dont know how true this one ins, but Aspergers people have strong interests in things. Surely you have some interest or hobby that you could pursue. This may help relieve stress in a more carpet-friendly manner.