any advice on a bad marriage?

by **Bree** on Sat May 09, 2009 2:25 am

well ive been married 2 years. Im still young and i know i shouldnt have. i still love him so much, but the fact is that he has NO respect for me whatsoever. we have had this conversation 48292029320 million times. Im seriously thinking of getting a divorce, but it would KILL me if i ever saw him with another girl..what does this mean? how can i not feel this way? oh, and dont be an A**hole and say something stupid like alot of these people on here. thanks.

by **JoeyBoy948** on Sat May 09, 2009 2:32 am

an eye for an eye

by **ogkmqueen095** on Sat May 09, 2009 2:32 am

The fact that he has no respect whatsoever for you is a total dealbreaker in my eyes."you teach people how to treat you" - That is a very true quote. You've obviously put up with him disrespecting you so now he thinks that he can get away with it. You've got to stand up for yourself and not let yourself be treated that way. The fact that you know that you shouldn't have married him has got to be telling you something too. I know that you feel that you won't be able to see him with another girl, but guess what, as you get older things like that will seem very petty and childish. Wouldn't you rather be with a guy who treats you well? It comes down to this, you can have this rude, disrespectful guy all to yourself, or you can move on find another guy and maybe have to deal with the fact that your ex will have another girl down the road.

you decide.

by **Christina597** on Sat May 09, 2009 2:33 am

can you picture him treating you the way he has for the next 20 years? can you live like this? can you raise kids with this man? can you see him being a good dad if you have kids and treating them with respect? can you do it? If you answer no to one or more of these questions quess what, it is time to get out! If he disrespecrts you now, guess what he wont care if you are pregnant or if you are hurt or anything . he wont change if you get couceling. he wont change if you go to church, he wont change, guys like this dont change and he can say he will change and cry but nothing will happene for him to treat you like you want ot be treated! you have to stop wasting time and do something now. god luck!

by **JaneMarple595** on Sat May 09, 2009 2:34 am

Not wanting to see him with another woman doesn't mean you still love him. I refused to date a man once and when he met another woman I was jealous, even though I didn't want him! How stupid is that eh! Don't kid yourself, if he doesn't respect you he won't respect any other women coming through his life. Let him be someone else problem! You're young, you know now it was a mistake to marry young, divorce him and start a new life.

by **carol605** on Sat May 09, 2009 2:35 am

My advice to you would be for you both to see a marriage counselor.
I am saying this because you are telling me that it would KILL you to see him with someone else. This indicates that you are not done with him yet so hold off and do not think about a divorce yet.

by **saleml502** on Sat May 09, 2009 2:38 am

turn the table around bh,and stop yapping mrs young a_ _

by **jennifer_kirsh** on Sat May 09, 2009 2:41 am

My advice would be for you to talk to him and explain again how he is treating you and how it is affecting you. Be brutally honest, if it were me I would end the conversation with an ultimatum of counseling or divorce. You need to be treated right PERIOD. No one has the right to treat anybody without any respect. I know you love him but it would do no good for you to stay in a relationship where he didn't respect you because down the road you wouldn't respect yourself. If he won't go to counseling I also suggest that you go by yourself and figure out why you love someone who treats you badly. If a divorce happens and you do see him with another woman then think about all the crap you put up with him and that he is doing the same thing to her. People don't change unless they are motivated to and you issuing the ultimatum might be the thing that brings you closer together, or tears you apart. You have to look at it in the way that you are still young and that's a lot of years to be in shitty marriage with someone who will respect you less and less over the years unless you demand more for yourself.

by **vicky395** on Sat May 09, 2009 2:53 am

Well... In my opinion, as per the Bible "divorce" is not an option. Unless there's cheating, physical abuse involved. - I suggest you look up on this book called " The Love Dare "... There is a movie after this book that is very interesting that's called " Fireproof ". I strongly suggest you watch it with your partner... It is a spirituaI movie. I garanty you will both benefit from it !

Copy and paste this link for a sneak peak on the movie before mentioning to your partner.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Ql7NkKbqqU

Have faith in your marriage... Hope it helps !

by **avasmum** on Sat May 09, 2009 2:57 am

OMG!! I am in the SAME BOAT!! But its my husband that wants the divorce and I want to work things out. Marriage has its up and downs and good times and bad times just like any other sort of relationship. I believe you have to work at it. I hate that I am totally disrespected and sometimes even ignored, but I believe that if we both try we can make it work. He just wants to walk away and start again. Easy for him, but we also have a 2 year old daughter.

I think that you should give it a go... maybe try counselling or something like that and if its just not working after say, 6 months, call it quits. I love my husband, as do you BUT there comes a time when you have to love yourself more and in my case, love my daughter more too. I don't want her to grow up thinking this is what marriage is all about, my husbands parents have a very odd marriage and I know thats why he has such a s**t atitude towards me. So for me, I'm giving it the last big try and if it doesn't work then I will pack up and move on, however hard it will be, but I have to know that I really did try to make it work.

any advice on a bad marriage?