Advice please! Single mom here!?

by **wowsers** on Fri Oct 23, 2009 5:40 pm

I just had my daughter 2 weeks ago and the father really doesnt act like he wants to be involved. He didnt come for the birth...so i was a single mom on the certificate. then less then a week ago he met the baby but he says he wants to be involved but yet he is not giving me his number where i can contact him, and he started to block my msgs on myspace. HE HAS a new gf that he puts first and it makes me so angry. i dont want him in and out of her life...thats too confusing for me and my daughter. what can i do to make sure he doesnt keep doing this. it kills me inside...because my little girl is the best thing thats happend to me and I dont want her to be confused. I am so scared later he will try and get custody and then he will have her around all his new gfs...and i dont want her to be confused by s many different ppl in her life. he meets girls off the internet and all kinds of things. I just fear that if he decides he wants to be there out of the blue what can i do to not let that happen

i thought if you ask for child support that means he gets to take her...i can support her myself i dont need him.

im a student in college...and 21...im not a teen

hes 20 still lives with his mom..and acts like a kid himself

by **Sugarcane** on Fri Oct 23, 2009 5:45 pm

Finalize it. End the relationship and ask him up front if he wants to be involved. If the answer is no, legally disconnect him from you and your daughter, and make sure you sign up for child support. ;]

by **Momof4** on Fri Oct 23, 2009 5:48 pm

You're so wise not to have his name on the birth certificate. And you're also right that it's worse to have him in and out of your baby's life than out altogether. Stop contacting him, pick yourself up as a "single mom" and move on. Remember though, that if you take any financial support or baby gifts from him he can use this against you as showing he was "being a father". Good luck!

by **April697** on Fri Oct 23, 2009 5:48 pm

if he didnt sign the birth certificate, then right now he has no legal right to her until/unless he gets a dna test! there is free legal advise out there. good luck

by **DeniseG** on Fri Oct 23, 2009 5:50 pm

Don't ask him anything. You end it and go on with your life without him. He's already shown you what type of father he'll be.

He's got no use in your or your daughter's life. Tell him to stay away from you that you don't want to have anything to do with him.

Then find someone to help you about getting child support. As the father, he legally has to help you financially - but he doesn't have to have anyting to do with your daughter. And it sounds like he doesn't want to anyway.

by **Bernard467** on Fri Oct 23, 2009 5:53 pm

give him an ultimatum / get involved now with her / if not go to a solicortor and take out an injunction order to stop him interfearing with you or your daughters life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

by **Charm427** on Fri Oct 23, 2009 5:53 pm

Hun, he's just not that into you.

It's over. He has no interest in you or the baby. Ask for child support, it's not for you, it's for the baby, and she has a right to it.

And I wouldn't worry about him wanting the baby. She would cramp his style.

by **Sam478** on Fri Oct 23, 2009 5:55 pm

i felt the same way you do when i first had my daughter. her father was an alcoholic, didn't care about anyone but himself. i left him when she was two months old. then he never seen her.. maybe once every three months. i always tried to get him to and he wouldn't. after awhile, i didn't want her to ever see him because i didn't want her to be hurt by him. when she turned two he played a big role in her life and has for the past year. i regret the thoughts i had of him, and forgave him for not being there in the beginning. so the situation worked out a lot different than i had expected.
if you really don't want him to ever be in your child's life, try to get him to sign his rights off to you. if he doesn't, you can take him to court and explain why he is an unfit parent.

by **AnnaOg682** on Fri Oct 23, 2009 6:04 pm

This is why teens having children is such an issue with older people.

Talk to someone at the Dept. of Social and Health Services, He is obligated to pay SUPPORT but probably will not. Eventually the State will go after him. He won't like it.
If he is not paying support he will lose visitation.
Finish school. No matter what it takes Just do it. dropping out will ruin your daughters life.

by **Randy192** on Fri Oct 23, 2009 6:04 pm

First off let begin by saying I"m a single dad in which the mother has very little to do with my daughter. He can not gain custody unless he can prove you to be unfit as a parent. Key word being prove. If you do have to go to court make sure you let the facts speak for themselves.
Don't make accusations you can't prove. Also asking for child support is not saying you can't take care of the child but that you're asking him to take responsibility for his half of the child raising. Keep a notebook of what occurs and when he is involved or fails to involve himself in the child's life. Also start gathering proof now to backup your statements. Better to have it now and not need it then not have it and need it. Most important of all ALWAYS put you childs well being before your pride. NEVER use your child to hurt the other parent. Go to court and set up a DNA test, child support payments and scheduled visitation. One last thing let the child grow up to find out what kind of father she has don't tell her. It will be much better that way. Been there done that. GOOD LUCK

Advice please! Single mom here!?